I have reached the age, where everyone, everywhere around me is having a baby. You can’t scroll through Facebook without seeing at least two new posts about someone announcing they’re pregnant or just had their baby. And the amount of babies and kids posted on there are countless! I’m perfectly fine with that, I post multiple pics of my girls as long as I can capture a half way decent photo of them!
However, with all these new births, everyone has an opinion, from bottles to baby monitors, people literally start giving you their thoughts the second you even mention wanting to have a baby, hey i’m guilty of it too! One such opinion that really affected me personally though was the great c-section debate.
My original birth plan was the same as many mothers-to-be, a normal vaginal delivery, and I definitely would be getting an epidural! That was my plan all along, until my 36 week check-up when my doctor told me that my daughter had not turned yet. We scheduled an ultrasound to confirm and sure enough she was still head up, with no real big chance of turning.
I was terrified! I typically had only heard horror stories of c-section procedures and the long process of healing. I was pretty devastated and what I found online about it, was also pretty disheartening. Nobody in my family nor friends had ever had a c-section, so I really did not have anyone who I could talk to or relate to. Luckily, my sister’s best friend had and she was quick to send me a message telling me she was so happy with her c-section and would recommend one to anyone. So there was one bit of comfort there, but the majority of c-section advice out there, is pretty darn scary!
People’s opinions on the matter tend to be pretty negative and for a person who had never even been in a hospital for ANYTHING, major abdominal surgery seemed life ending! All anyone would say when I would tell them I had to have a c-section was, “Oh man, that sucks,” or “Your organs are going to feel like they’re falling out when you stand up for the first time,” to “My mom said her bladder was never the same after a c-section,” or one of my favorites “My mom screamed the whole time she got her c-section, because they had to scrape everything out.” I’m not lying, people actually told me these things!
I was not just terrified; I was horrified, sad, scared, you get the point. Other than that one person, nobody had anything good to say. So when my water broke and we rushed to the hospital and of course my doctor was not the one on call, but I was progressing too quickly to wait for morning to come, and some random doctor had to give me a c-section, I was pretty unnerved. I even asked her how she thought she was and she told me “I’ve been told I make a clean cut.” Which surprisingly, did give me comfort.
After Emery was born and I was taken to the recovery room, I had no pain, obviously I was on a lot of pain meds, and I just knew the pain was going to start and all the horribleness was going to start. But then I got to moved to my room, was eventually able to move around, take a shower, hold my baby, have visitors, go home, I realized having a c-section was not only NOT the end of the world, but I also felt pretty ok. Of course, I was sore, but NOTHING compared to what I had imagined thanks to all the (non) well wishers. I was fine and off pain meds completely within a week and a half. I was able to go upstairs, drive a car, and live a normal life, wow who would have thought?! Despite the fact that I had a c-section (I’m saying that sarcastically). People really did act like my life would never be the same again, just because I was having a c-section.
Turns out I have a “heart-shaped” uterus and that all additional babies will be breached, so I will always have c-sections. The opinions don’t stop even after a c-section. People have been so kind as to tell me “Oh you will never know the joys of having a vaginal birth,” as if I can control how my uterus is shaped, or “Oh your next c-section scar will be much wider,” and “You’ll be much sorer after each c-section.”
While yes, these might be the case for some people, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to me, or to you, and if it does, who cares?! Having a c-section does not define you, in the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t even matter! It’s a matter of what is the best way to get your baby out!
When I found out I was pregnant again, I knew I was having another c-section and I was able to prepare myself, mostly for what others would say. I listened to their thoughts and would just say “Oh I didn’t think it was that bad,” and I really meant it! I’m not less of a person or a mother just because I’ve had two c-sections. I have two amazing little girls out of it, and we’re all perfectly happy.
I may not know the “joys of having a vaginal birth,” but guess what I don’t care! My first c-section scar was basically a dotted line for my doctor the second time around, so no it’s not wider! And was I anymore sore the second time than the first time, NO, it’s basically the same, because I knew exactly what to expect!
Obviously, and of course, everyone’s experiences are different, but that’s just it, people should know that and take that to heart before being so quick as to share a horror story with a mother-to-be. While a little advice or piece of mind is ok at the right time, remember ladies, pregnant mommies are already scared enough, be encouraging, uplifting, and ready to listen, not frighten.
Of course, this is just my opinion…